So Proud

This post is not going to include poetry in it, because I feel like just writing:)

Last night was my boyfriends choir concert, and it pretty much blew me away. My friends ROCKED, and I am so proud of them. I especially am proud of my boyfriend, Patrick. And I never knew what it felt like to be proud of someone, because I was always jealous of how they were better at something then me. And I realized that your going to just live a miserable life if you can't be proud of someone you love and care about. And Patrick has helped me with this. I may have been jealous because they found something their good at and I just haven't found it yet. And maybe I have, but I just haven't realized it. All I know is that he blew me away last night. He has improved in everything; dancing, singing, etc. He is so much more outgoing now and he is smiling every darn day. I use to always smile, and laugh and starting about a year ago everything changed. I started falling behind in school, never being happy, and just everything flipped upside down for me. But I feel like now, who I am and who I want to be is coming back. I have strong goals set for myself for the future. I want to do something BIG. I want to change the world, help people, show people the bright side of things. But I realized before I do that, I have to do it for myself. I have to look at the bright side of things, I have to help myself. And I feel like I have. Main thing I'm working on now, is looking at the bright side of things everyday. Waking up with a smile on my face, telling myself, "Today will be a good day." I mean so many other people have it SOO much worse then me, and I got to be happy for what I got.

I think this will be a good year:)

-Nicole !

Just thoughts

I decided I'm going to just start every blog out with explaining the basis of what the poetry is about. A lot has been going on in my life, with parents getting a divorce, being the head person in charge of yearbook, and figuring out a way to deal with my negative emotions.

Number One

Number Two

Number Three

Number Four

There could be more

Where do I stand ?

Number Three Hundred Fifty Four ?

That one is neither about my parents or anything. It's about someone.

I'm still working on this whole poetry thing. It's a good way for me to vent, and I don't care if I'm bad or good, as long as I feel better afterwards. There are times when things are just so chaotic I feel nothing can help. And that is what I'm trying to work on now, is how to deal with those feelings. Right now, I'm in a bit of a mess with everything. I try not to let one thing mess everything up, but it gets difficult when you can't make one thing clear. Before I go, I have ONE more poem. It's called Cause and Effect of Differences.

We tried doing what we love together.

I hated it.

Now we don't try.

I hate it more.

I feel the cold weather.

It's getting colder.

Two ways.

I take the warm side.

You take the cold.

The first post

This blog is dedicated to my Little Red Book. This book is a diary sort of book. I write poetry in it. Now, I'm not saying this poetry is necessarily happy poetry, I write when I am upset. A lot is going on in my life so right now I have decided I will post new poetry every day that I am able. I am not saying this poetry is good, it's my way and I am slowly working on it so bare with me.

I need you to not get mad

nor another negative emotion

All I need to head is this advice from you lad:

What am I to do in this salvation, rough ?

I have another two weeks before I know enough

I feel the tears in my soul

Ready to spill right into the bowl.

That was one of my poems. Here is another.

You drive me insane

(at times)

I want to leave you

(at times)

and try something new

(at times)

Help me fix it

(please.)